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Sayings I never understood

by Phil Houseal
Dec 30, 2009

The focus of Full House is entertainment in the Hill Country. With the New Year rolling around, most of you are thinking about where you will spend your evening greeting 2010. At www.fredericksburg-texas.com you can explore the lineup of clubs and parties slated for that festive night.

But that is not what this column is about.

The other thing that happens each season is the dreary ritual of writing resolutions detailing how you will improve your life in the fresh calendar.

This is not about that either.

I wanted to wrap up the year sharing “sayings” I never understood - phrases meant to impart great wisdom in few words, but which in my mind never made sense.

Some examples:

You can’t have your cake and eat it, too
I never understood this one. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it. In fact, that the only way to eat your cake is to “have” it first!

In fact it makes sense only when it is stated correctly. The original phrasing is “You can’t eat your cake and have it too.” Now that makes sense. After you eat anything, you no longer have it to eat.

Man does not live on bread alone
I have heard this line quoted by sybarites to justify living the high life; that is, one need not subsist on mere bread and water. The Bible phrase actually means just the opposite - man is not meant to subsist entirely on material things of this world, but to seek spiritual nourishment, the opposite of living it up.

I am(or am not) my brother’s keeper
The Biblical phrase has Jesus asking “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Again, this imparts the exact opposite meaning used today - I cannot control how my brother uses his time and gifts.

Money is the root of all evil
No no no, that is not what this other Bible phrase said. It is the love of money that is the root of evil. Big difference.

Steal from the rich; give to the poor (the Robin Hood argument)
The parable of Robin Hood actually makes the exact opposite argument than the one proposed by those who evoke it. It is usually cited by those who see Robin as a hero who takes money from the wealthy and distributes it to the poor - rationalizing redistribution of wealth.
In the story, Robin actually takes back the taxes and tariffs unfairly imposed upon the working man by the government. Who chases Robin? The Sheriff. So Robin Hood should be the hero of those who oppose oppressive taxation, not those who impose it.

I laughed all the way to the bank.
Actually, Liberace, the flamboyant pianist, when asked how he felt after bad reviews by critics, replied, “I cried all the way to the bank.” Phrasing it the first way wrings out all the irony and cleverness - of course we would laugh on our way to deposit the money.

My favorite might ring a bell for members of an older generation. My mother often used the phrase, “Didn’t know s*** from Shinola,” and occasionally when talking about me as I recall. It was an alliterative and colorful phrase, but I never really understood the reference. Only when I was an adult did I discovered that Shinola was a brand of boot polish, one whose consistency and color apparently bore a resemblance to the another substance beginning with the letter “s.” Suddenly all became clear - as it were.